Bad times

I'm really busy, not happy, and don't have anything positive to post.

Normal service will be resumed shortly (hopefully.) In the meantime, have some Mock the Week:

What have I done??

Oh my gods, my course is SO HARD! I should have done clinics, sticking needles in people would have been less stressful...

I have a new-found respect for biomeds. Everything is about having to do extra reading, keeping up with current research (which means looking up journals... I hate journals) and MOST OF THE EXAMS ARE ESSAY QUESTIONS! *hides* Essay questions? In science? And to get firsts you need to reference extra reading, in the exam essay. This year is going to be a LOT of work.

Also in my Advanced Anatomy module I have a Viva- a face-to-face oral exam!
I have to say, I'm a little disappointed because the course is mostly about limbs and back, which is my least favourite anatomy. I like organs (that aren't muscles.) I'd rather they were a bit more general. I'm also a little worried because apparently last year, only one person got a first out of everyone taking the module. Surely if that is the case, the module is pitched too high? They have changed the exam format from 4 essays to 3 and some MCQ's, which should help a little I guess.

The "Mechanisms of Development" module is ridiculously hard as well... It's way over my head, I've only had about 4 lectures referring to embryology in my whole two years of study so far and I didn't get much from them. The other day I literally just wikipedia'd "embryo" to get myself some basic information.
The course seems to assume a lot of previous knowledge- yesterday I had a lecture on "Signal Transduction Pathways." I don't even know what they are! Then we had a two-hour lecture on fruit flies and I fell asleep. Right in the front row, about a metre away from the lecturer. The shame...

Behavioural science looks really good, however. We get given all the reading we need to get a first, and the lecture titles look really interesting :-)

The Professor teaching that is my project tutor for my research project as well, so I'm feeling hopeful that it may be interesting. Or at least simple. I meet with him tomorrow about it, so fingers crossed!

Even just the introductory lectures last week has made me realise how spoon-fed we are as medical students. Mostly we just had to turn up to lectures, and remember what we had been taught- there wasn't too much to do off your own back. Sure, there was a lot of timetabled hours, and a hell of a lot to learn, but it was all GIVEN to you. I'm not very good at motivating myself to do things on my own, and get nervous without instruction/feedback. And i'm not great at essays!! I guess if I make it this year, I'll have a lot of useful skills for later on in my study... If I make it!


Study worries aside, I am enjoying all the extra-curricular stuff I've taken on. I'm settling into BSL ok now, I've learnt quite a bit, even if I do still have some trouble understand the teacher sometimes.
I'm back at Childline, which is nice :-)
I'm now up-to-date with Sexpression stuff which is good, but the training weekend is soon so I'll need to make sure all the teaching is ready for that. I've now realised that I don't have to do it all myself, and can get the rest of the committee to help me, which is both obvious and useful.
Swimming training is now 3 days a week! Monday evening, Thursday evening, and Saturday morning at 9am! I'm not sure I'll make the saturday one too often ;-) I was was feeling a bit "meh" about swimming, I'm not brilliant and felt a little out of the friend loop last year. I nearly didn't go, but loved it when I did :-) I'm one of the more experienced waterpolo players now, which is a great confidence boost, and means I'm needed on the team! Also compared to the new people of course I have good friends there as well. Yay! :-) Training three times a week is a lot for me though... I'm so unfit! And usually ill! Hopefully it'll be ok, but I've already been invited out drinking on a Wednesday as well, which I think I'll pass on. I need some time for study and sleep!

Sometimes I wonder if I've taken too much on, or if I've taken on the right things. What if I decide I want to do surgery, but I don't really have anything relevant in my activities? I guess what I do have looks good though, and I can always change around later as I become more sure of what I want to do. As for time, last year I was involved in quite a few other societies that I think will give a miss this year. I don't have the energy to throw myself into anything else, and why do it if you can't do it wholeheartedly? Also, I do need to watch my time- any spare time I have after this lot and studying will be for seeing the friends I already have I think!

Unneccessary politics.

Eurgh.

Stupid freaking student paper!!

I had volunteered to be "babe of the month" in the student paper, thinking it would be a bit of harmless fun.

Oh no. Not at all. Apart from my ex trying to insult me about it, I also got the sabbatical officers on their high horse apparently... the brief article about me was published with the word "objectified?" over it and several questions for people to write in about, all leading towards getting students to disagree with the point of the article.

I went out clibbing tonight, and after all three of the sabbatical officers asking me repeatedly if I felt objectified, I went home in a thoroughly bad mood.

I'm all for equality- trust me, I'm considering being a surgeon- but I don't think posting a little jokey post in the student paper is exactly sexist, ESPECIALLY WHEN THERE IS BOTH A MAN AND A WOMAN POSTED! So I've had people up in arms at me all night about it- ruining my night out, and for nothing. I doubt anyone cares enough to write in. It's just me that's affected. That's the last time I try to help out the freaking student paper.

First lesson of BSL!

So I have had my first uni lesson now :-) My first session of BSL (British Sign Language.)
It was EXHAUSTING! The teacher can't actually speak, and so it requires an intense amount of concentration to pick up/work out what he is saying. 2 hours of it completely frazzled me! We are all supposed to only mouth words, too- so you don't get an easy break from someone else saying what's going on. He can hear though, which means he can help if you do get stuck.

I must say though, he is an amazing communicator: through mouthing words, miming things, bits of sign language we picked up, and writing only the occasional word on the board. He'd point out when we were doing things wrong through overexaggerating them, which made the class quite funny, too.

I think I was a bit nervous as well, being my first time back- hopefully I'll relax into it more as I get to know the other students. Kinda weird though, not talking to them :-) We had to ask each other's name through finger-spelling, which takes me much longer at this stage, but I guess has the benefit that not only do you know someone's name, you can also spell it straight away. Not much good for pronounciation though. Still, that doesn't actually matter within the class.
I guess I'm struggling with the class format, too, as normally I just sit at the back and write everything down *wry smile* no note-taking here, you need your hands free and to get involved.
I think I'm going to enjoy it, but I'll need to make sure I'm on good form for my lessons!

We learnt a lot in a short space of time, too. After two hours I had the alphabet down and a lot of lazy mistakes I've developed corrected, I know where to put my hands while signing, I can ask/give my name, ask/give where someone lives or was born (including N,E,S,W), and have learnt a few things about deaf culture too... like you don't clap when someone does well (they won't hear it!), you wave your hands in the air sort of jazz-hands style, but upright. I like it, it's cute :-D

So yeah. Very interesting, but going to be a lot of work I think!

A good point...

...was made today by my friend when I was telling her about how excited I am to be working with a professor.

She said "If it gets published, you're on a paper"

If! I'd been thinking this was some kind of certain thing... silly me. He has done quite a lot of published research in recent years, so fingers crossed. But I need to refine my ideas and remember that this is just a possibility.

*sigh* Should probably stop being over-excited about it now, and focus on all the work starting soon.

Getting into shape

So things are coming together for the new term... slowly.

I have now received confirmation of two of the modules I am studying next year- about time too, seeing as I start next week!
But I'm very happy about it, becuase I'm lucky enough to have got into both of the modules I really wanted, and were competitive to get into! I'm into the Advanced Human Anatomy module, and I have got myself onto a research project with a professor!! I'm so, so excited :-) Basically I was the one person he selected, who will be working with him on his own research, which should mean I get published! It's really great news.
Of course, working on his research is going to be running some very, very boring computer analysis- and then I have to write a big essay on it. Not exactly scintillating stuff, but provided I get published, it will be worth it in the end. I'm sure halfway through the year I'll start moaning about it, but I'm determined to give it my best shot :-D

The rest of the modules I will be advised of when I get my timetable, basically- so I must have got into them, as no-one has contacted me to choose different ones, and there was no upper limit on numbers for them either.


It's very strange now that my pre-clinical year has gone their seperate ways- either to do different BSc's, or to clinics. I really feel for my friends doing clinics, actually- my housemate has started already and has an 8am start for lectures everyday, and very busy days with lots to learn; they're really piling the work on straight away! It's necessary for then to be prepared to go into hospitals soon, but I'm feeling quite glad I don't have that stress this year!

That said, I'm still managing to keep myself really busy- meeting up with friends now everyone's back here, cleaning and sorting out my house so it's all done for when I start, working shifts at my waitressing job here, and I need to do a lot of work for the Sex Ed society. It passes the time :-)

I really want to make the most of this year- I will have a bit more free time hopefully, so I want to use it to firstly, get a good degree, and secondly, make the most of all the extra-curricular things I can fit in. I'm learning British Sign Language this year, for example :-)
That's an interesting point though- my entire grade for this degree rests on this year :-S I hope I don't screw it up! A first or a 2:1 please, fingers crossed!

Home at last!

My summer job has now finished, and I am back at my flat in London :-)

I really like my summer job, actually. I work in a piercing shop, which is nice because it's very relaxed and fairly easy, as well as giving me insight into the world of piercings, which I find very interesting. From a medical perspective I've learnt a lot, and I hope it will help me in future. A lot of what I've learnt is about how to easily remove a piercing, how to keep them clean and deal with them, and that most people worry about infection a lot more than they need to. I get the impression from the stories I've heard that the medical sphere doesn't know too much about these kind of things- so I'm considering writing about what I've learnt and trying to get it published somehow. I'm not sure what official guidlines are on dealing with piercings, or how to go about getting this acknowledged when I don't have any kind of statistical evidence :-( But I intend to look into it- maybe medical forums will be a good place to start.


It's really nice to be back here :-) I don't get on brilliantly with my parents, and after 6 weeks it's nice to have my own space again. I'm a bit stressed from the whole thing, and didn't go to Childline yesterday, even though I was here. I need to be in the correct frame of mind before I do.

It's not perfect here though, by any means! The walls are still paper-thin, for a start... and I've got a lot here to sort out; my chest of drawers needs replacing, which my landlord should have done but hasn't. The flat generally needs cleaning and tidying, as well as my room needing sorting out- it's full of clothes I no longer wear and books from last year.

Perhaps the most annoying thing that has happened is that for some reason the hot water isn't working. It was fine yesterday, and is supplied from a communal boiler for the whole block, so we haven't done anything to affect it ourselves (unless my landlord hasn't paid for it this month!) I hate cold showers, so I am going to be smelly today and hope it works tomorrow. If not I'll phone the landlord.

So there's a lot to sort out, but I have got a lot of free time too- my term doesn't start until the 28th! Hopefully I'll get everything how I want it in time to concentrate on my studies.
I'm really looking forward to next year- a whole year of Anatomy is going to be awesome!